@LaniBeno: I hate it when people don't behave the way I thought they would when I rehearsed the conversation in my head.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@gruffybeard: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I'm scared. I *gasp* can't *gasp* breathe *gasp* again! 911: Sir, for the last time, unbutton your pants.
@TragicAllyHere: Friend: [admiring photo of me, my husband, two sons and our dog] What a beautiful family. Me: [whispering] My whole house smells like pee.
@AnniemuMary: Genetics are weird. Like only 1 of the kids got my hair color but all of them got my husband's inability to fully close a drawer.
@DaveWeasel: If you don't like the way you look naked, remember; by the time you have your clothes off, its the other person's problem.