@LittleHarmonica: I hate it when people think I'm staring when really I'm trying to kill them with my mind.
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@Ms612: Fellas, if she asks you to sign life insurance policies on the way to your honeymoon, you're probably not making it out alive.
@therealeatwood: ME: What an emotional roller coaster ROLLER COASTER: [calling out to me as I exit the park] Why are you leaving??!! Is it something I said?
@GypsyWingss: Mom: a little birdie told me you got drunk last night Me: you're the one friggen talking to birds