@Storminika: I hate it when strangers question me. I'm with my kid, & this lady goes, 'He's cute. Who does he look like?' I'm like, 'Your husband'
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@KyleMcDowell86: [job interview] "What's your biggest weakness?" "My honesty" "I don't think-" "I broke into ur house and made love to ur cat last night"
@ingmarbirdman: If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door.
@Derrick_Snyder: Twitter: What do our users want? Users: An edit button and relief from spam/abuse. Twitter: Novella-length Tweets it is!