@hpb777: I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Kyle_Lippert: The inventor of Chapstick died today. Unfortunately his body was lost while being transferred to the morgue.
@BrdnHatesYou: *beats arachnophobia* *trips over child dressed as Spider-Man* *fears spiders again*
@LilMamacitaDont: I tweeted about Darth Vader wearing Depends earlier. Since then, two Vaders and have "followed" me. I'm getting choked tonite. Help.