@hpb777: I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
@JeremyKCMO: 'I'm sure it's just water,' I mumble as I sit down on the gas station toilet.
@KateWhineHall: Fun Fact: If you hear small kids running around laughing hysterically, within 2 min. at least one will be on the floor crying hysterically.
@dumbbeezie: Shopping with friend
"Look, triangle-shaped tupperware for your leftover pizza!"
Me: "What's leftover pizza?
@noog: When you're alone in your room, start doing karate so ghosts know what's up.
@Gibberish_one: Relationship Goals