@Sean_Burgundy_: I hate it when you tell someone that you'll always be there for them and then they call you to help move
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@xLiserx: My adult coloring book is filled with pictures of people paying bills, washing dishes, & tugging at their belly fat in front of the mirror.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: John Lennon: Here I stand head in hand, Turn my face to the wall— Me: um, it’s fine if you just count to 20 while we hide
@Brianhopecomedy: My mother-in-law talked non-stop while we watched Criminal Minds and now I have an idea for a cool new episode.
@SuperRandomish: Cupcakes are amazing, because holding a full size cake up to your face isn't socially acceptable for some reason.