@Sean_Burgundy_: I hate it when you tell someone that you'll always be there for them and then they call you to help move
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@longwall26: "Whatcha inventing?" "I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids?" "Sure."
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this.
@KittyShittyy: If I had ten cookies and you took one,what would you have? That's correct. A black eye and broken hand.