@Sean_Burgundy_: I hate it when you tell someone that you'll always be there for them and then they call you to help move
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@Spaziotwat: [*Wakes up on sofa] "Did I...DID I HAVE A FIGHT WITH BATMAN?" Wife [from bedroom]: "YOU. PUNCHED. A. NUN."
@JasonLastname: Sitting here at Starbucks, everyone looking at their phones and only one person's noticed mine's a calculator.
@MattMcElaney: Look, mom, we can keep arguing about whether or not 28 is too old to live your parents but it's not gonna help us find my iguana any faster.
@Rlpihl: Noah: I need 2 of every animal Shark: even us? Noah: no, you can swim Unicorn: I'm pretty good at swimming Noah: go for it