@juicymorsel: I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
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@Home_Halfway: The most annoying part about getting older is the incessant desire to give those younger than me unwanted advice.
@JohnLyonTweets: To everyone who received a file from me named myjunk.jpg: I thought I was sending you a photo of my garage sale. I am so, so sorry.
@AristotlesNZ: I swear to god dude, if you say "But what if we get arrested?" One more time you're out of the group.