@juicymorsel: I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
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@TheMichaelRock: Why would they add "twerk" to the dictionary? People that would use said word can't read.
@Brianhopecomedy: I inform my 4 year old that she's going to a friend's house 5 minutes before we leave so she only asks me when we're going 6000 times.