@juicymorsel: I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
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@Renie_Rivas: My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs.
@weinerdog4life: Huge sale this weekend, we have too many mountain lions, please come buy a mountain lion, this was a horrible business plan, one guy got ate
@ehdannyboy: i have good and bad news Wife: Ok, the bad news? i didn't clean out the garage Wife:*sigh* the good news? [holds up cat dressed as Thor]