@Donna_McCoy: "I hate seeing you like this," she thought every time she encountered anyone over the course of the day.
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@The_JRM: 5yo's pretending she's a tourist at a hotel. All good, but I draw the line when my services are criticized because the "toilet's too cold."
@SirEvisiae: *pretends to throw ball* *dog runs to chase it* Ha, stupid dog. *dog keeps running, disappears over horizon* Um *dog tackles me from behind*
@iwearaonesie: *gets out of bed* *steps on something* me: Ugh *turns light on* wife: What is it? me: The cat caught another smart car
@sarcasticmommy4: Me: It's been a while since we've had to take one of the kids to the ER. Trampoline: Hold my beer.