@claudiaa_haleyy: I hate that "You know what to do" voicemail greeting, because if a recently unfrozen caveman calls, I bet that makes him feel pretty bad.
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@Eric_Bader: I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would've told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn't want to get mugged.
@GrantTanaka: January 1: GONNA WORK OUT EVERYDAY January 2: [works out] Jan 3: [kind of works out] Jan 4: [too busy to work out] Jan 5: VANITY IS BULLSHIT
@GrowlyGrego: My 5yo is a pretty good drawer but there's only so many t-shirts you can fit into a tiny person.