@InternetHippo: I hate the future
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@XplodingUnicorn: Went to a parade. For an hour, bored people on floats waved. For an hour, My 2-year-old waved back. It was the greatest day of her life.
@ThisOneSayz: No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler.
@DrRocktopoid: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the little raccoon" 'cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and carried Lyme disease.