@InternetHippo: I hate the future
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@AbbieEvansXO: GHOST TEEN: [sneaks back in at 2am] GHOST MUM: [waiting up 4 him] you're busted! GHOST DAD: Jesus Karen ground him don't BUST him holy shit
@J0hnnyBlaze: If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her
@AmericanGent69: Facebook Friend: I woke up at 3:30am so I could sneak in a 8 mile run. Me: I skipped showering so I could sleep an extra 15 minutes.
@JimmerThatisAll: I've been getting fewer and fewer new followers but I'll be damned if I'm going to tweet something good just because some people have taste.