@Sarcasticsapien: I hate the phrase "let me clarify" because it means someone is about to talk some more.
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@bigmacher: #IHaveJustEnoughMoneyTo pay my phone bill so I can call my credit card company to tell them I don't have money to pay them.
@The_MartiniGirl: Getting caught under your desk and coming up with nothing in your hand is always so hard to explain.
@WilliamAder: Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over.
@Marlebean: My favorite way to mop the bathroom floor is to give the kids a bath. The walls, too. Yup, and ceiling.