@Sarcasticsapien: I hate the phrase "let me clarify" because it means someone is about to talk some more.
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@CynicalLongkat: Dinner with Mom: Are these real people you're talking about or are they from the internet?
@NateMorrising: I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery.
@CulturedRuffian: I rarely eat kale chips, but when I do-I eat them condescendingly and self-righteously.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: I'm just gonna take a quick nap. KIDS: Check out the new cirque du soleil show we invented. *living room is on fire*