@DevilryFun: I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I'll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
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@batkaren: [1st date] "I'm really into roll playing," I tell her with a wink, and make two pieces of complimentary bread pretend to kiss.
@LuckoftheDraw86: God invented co-workers to remind us that dying alone wouldn't be such a bad thing.
@SocialExtortion: I hate going to the dentist, he is always like "did you eat Oreos before you came in?" and "you are still eating Oreos, I can see you"