@Brohamulet: I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn't really work otherwise.
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@meatlobes: *im applying Chapstick and doing curtseys in the mirror* *dad walks past* *dad double takes* *im doing push-ups and drinkin a protein snake*
@NicestHippo: I love emoji. No longer do I have to type out "This weather is yellow face with hearts instead of eyes"
@JermHimselfish: I hate it when I see an inflatable arm-flailing tube man and then I realize that he was actually flailing his arms at someone behind me.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u? "Cuz im going too fast?" Cop: Yes, slow down. "But it's been 6 months-" Cop: U can't move in with her yet.