@El_nacho_Nigre: I hate to say "I told you so", so Im going to sing it.
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@murrman5: yes lassie? "bark" Timmy's in the well and you pissed in my slippers and you told me about Timmy first so I wouldn't get mad "bark" smart
@thenatewolf: If you ever quit twitter, instead of writing something sanctimonious, write "About to go skydiving. Wish me luck!" and then never post again
@Jeffwni: 13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll— [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing.
@justinshanes: I was probably the first choice of the person who texted me, "Wanna go to a concert in 40 minutes?!"