@imhhk: I hate "two-faced" people.
It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
@Royceda59: I bought condoms. Cashier asked if I needed a bag, I said no she's not that ugly RT @HeroinHadley:Tweet something inspirational. I need it.
@13spencer: Experimental Music sounds like a cool idea until you realize that the experiment is how bad something can be, and still be called music.
@djdarrellripley: When I die I don't want a big funeral. I'd just like a few of my close friends to get together and try to bring me back to life...
@thenatewolf: Me: I have a secret
*I take off my wig*
Her: I don’t care still I love you
*I smile, take off my bald cap*
Me: you passed the final test
@david8hughes: Everybody mad at me like it's common knowledge to wait til after the eulogy before you start clapping. Sorry I didn't go to funeral college.