@imhhk: I hate "two-faced" people.
It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.
@GoldenSpirals: Humans will not be fully evolved until everyone achieves the ability to maintain a constant speed while driving.
@brittarnett: officer: give me your name
me: then what am I going to use?
@aLunchBox: I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying.
@miss_foofoo: I never understood why people get buried in suits. When I die bury me in my PJ's. If I'm gonna be sleeping that long I wanna be comfortable.
@aardvarsk: "You'll sleep when I'm dead" -- my phone