@mattingebretson: I hate when a grocery clerk judges you for what you put on the checkout belt. I found that dead cat behind YOUR store & now I want to buy it
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@AllTheUglyTruth: Made the decision that I'm done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
@ericsshadow: For sale: $300 King size mattress & box spring, 6 mo old, Never had sex on it, not even once. IDK ask her.
@SassyChantelle: Everybody always says say "No!" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
@david8hughes: [son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over