@mattingebretson: I hate when a grocery clerk judges you for what you put on the checkout belt. I found that dead cat behind YOUR store & now I want to buy it
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@MarfSalvador: Me: *Puts on skis* I've not done this before! *Nervously pulls on ski goggles* Driving instructor: Please get out of my bed
@0point5twins: BARISTA: Would you like to try our new special Peruvian blend? It's sm- ME: I'm just trying to stay awake and not punch anyone.
@Carbosly: A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.