@mattingebretson: I hate when a grocery clerk judges you for what you put on the checkout belt. I found that dead cat behind YOUR store & now I want to buy it
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@BAnderson_30: Good thing Brazil won...otherwise I'm pretty sure they would've just cancelled the rest of the World Cup.
@david8hughes: [in the ambulance] Paramedic: what's your blood type? Me: whatever. I'm not fussy
@carlyken: Okay kids don't ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger's houses except on the day we worship the devil.