@aLunchBox: I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying.
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@mstluvstrinkets: I remember, before kids, saying funny things like, "my kids won't be watching TV and they most certainly won't be eating chicken nuggets!"
@Chyld: Dear North Carolina, if you let guys marry each other, you'll have more available women in your family to date!
@ozzyunc: It's 2080. Every living human is named Taylor. Dogs are the size of hamsters. The iPhone 47 is the size of a parachute. Weed is mandatory.
@Cheeseboy22: If you try to rob my house, you should know that the item in the house I paid the most for are my son's braces.