@Thing_Finder: I hate when I can't remember if my wife and I are in love or fighting. So, I'm like a minesweeper in the mornings.
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@daplusk: Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
@bacon_gillepic: Puts cardboard cutout of myself at my desk a week ago* Receives check* Dang I just got a raise
@PinkCamoTO: I feel like people who end up on Dateline for committing murder don't watch enough Dateline to plan their crimes accordingly.