@Thing_Finder: I hate when I can't remember if my wife and I are in love or fighting. So, I'm like a minesweeper in the mornings.
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@LikeABaus91: Red bull gives you crippling heart palpitations just doesn't have the same ring to it.
@MsReyda: Men always criticize our big ole purses but stay asking us for something out of it. "U got gum?" "Give me some lotion" "Hold my gun"
@michaelianblack: Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I'm never like, "Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?"
@TheRealRHB: Parenting Tip: Place fake present under tree with unruly child's name on it and when he misbehaves toss it into the burning fireplace