@ShesARealGenius: "I hate when I can't think of the right word," she protesticulated.
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@delusionaliam: Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.
@JennyPentland: "Mommy, I don't wanna grow up and die!" "Oh. Well, you can die at any age, really."
@flashember: The microwave was invented in 1946 when an enraged toddler demanded his food be locked in a revolving prison and destroyed by lasers.