@SolelyB: My husband is going to be so surprised when he finds out the woman I've been sleeping with is way hotter than his girlfriend.

@SuperApple8: All I want in life is to be cool enough to cut up slices of an apple and eat them directly from the knife.

@funflaps: ME: You could cut the tension with a knife CABLE CAR OPERATOR: Please don't

@The_KJM: I can undo a bra with two fingers and no eyes but can't tie a tie with both hands and a 6 minute video tutorial.

@thespacewad: If your parents say, "You can be whatever you want to be when you grow up", remind them that they'll have to die for you to be Batman.