@Reverend_Scott: I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it's slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
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@PaperWash: GF: I think I'm gunna start a Twitter account Me: *whips head around* I'll help you set it up! *Grabs GF's phone and hurls it into the Sun*
@Jandalize: Horrifically awaiting the day all the shampoo bottles in my shower decide to squeeze me back.
@stevevsninjas: Surgeon: Appendectomies are tricky, you sure you got this? Dr. Wacky Inflatable Tube Man: *flings scalpel into ceiling* You bet!