@Aspersioncast: I hate when I forget to shave then people assume I'm a hippy and start talking about recycling.
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@MartaEffing: Yes, you take my breath away... But so does a brisk walk, or the sight of an ugly baby. Don't be so flattered.
@DadandBuried: I like having multiple children because that way if one doesn't happen to be screaming there's always another around to pick up the slack.
@IamEnidColeslaw: when the ice cream man drives down my street I walk alongside him screaming TAKE ME WITH YOU I WILL BEAR YOU MANY STRONG SONS
@charliedelta7: Just flipped my son off behind his back because I'm an adult and don't get into arguments with 4 year olds.