@Aspersioncast: I hate when I forget to shave then people assume I'm a hippy and start talking about recycling.
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "What's your greatest weakness?" I'm always hungry "That's not what I-" *takes out a cake* Also, I don't like to share
@BeTheCookie: At what age do you have THE talk with your daughter about how she is not the princess of anything and she'll need to get a job. Is it 6?
@HeSlimedMeRay: My son just complained about how far the guy in his video game has to walk. We take our lazy seriously around here.
@ItsAndyRyan: "How would you describe the woman who attacked you?" *Describes mother* *Gets a copy of picture* *Gives it to mum as late birthday present*