@joeljeffrey: I hate when I lose an argument and then seventeen years later I think up a witty come back.
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@AmishPornStar1: You know that chick who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"... Yeah, well I ate her.
@TheTweetOfGod: He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know. Shut up, is basically what I'm saying.
@JohnLyonTweets: To everyone who received a file from me named myjunk.jpg: I thought I was sending you a photo of my garage sale. I am so, so sorry.