@jergarl: I hate when I put my open beer down and forget where I put it and then I find like 7 open beers.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jackiecarbajal: Guys, I really think 50 Shades missed out on a really a big marketing slogan... "CLIMAX IN IMAX"
@Dustinkcouch: An assault rifle that only shoots blanks should be called a JK-47! I am fun at parties please invite me to them.
@usermcuserface: Guy behind me in line at the gas station was standing close enough to reenact the pottery scene from ghost.
@fluffysuse: When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.