@jergarl: I hate when I put my open beer down and forget where I put it and then I find like 7 open beers.
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@treydayway: Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said "seriously?" after a comment you made during an argument.
@TheAlexNevil: At the beach, looking at all these fit young people, with their perfect bodies and perfect tans and I think "I wish I could be a shark".
@causticbob: I've written a book called, 'How Not To Get Conned Out Of Your Money'. It's available in all good bookshops priced £149.99.
@iamspacegirl: Columbus: I claim this cake for Spain. Also these Slim Jims are for Spain, too. And maybe the me: dude, that's my mom's cassero- C: Spain.