@SlabBaconBP: I hate when I tell my girlfriend to call me when she's feeling sensible and then 2 years go by before I realize I'm probably single.
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@chrissyteigen: If you are flying out of DC on virgin today, check under your seat for a very large mom bra. It's like a talk show giveaway!
@ComedicBust: Sometimes I'll casually say "what else do you want?" on the phone, so the pizza guy thinks I'm ordering for more than just me.