@SlabBaconBP: I hate when I tell my girlfriend to call me when she's feeling sensible and then 2 years go by before I realize I'm probably single.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thebabylady7: 2003: I am going to be the best mom ever. 2017: My kids will probably need therapy because of me.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: So where are you gonna hide the elf tonight? Wife: Me? I thought you’ve been moving it *her eyes widen* Me: It’s right behind me isn’t it?
@TheMichaelRock: Mom: You should come camping with us! It's only $100! Me: You want me to pay $100 to sleep outside? Mom: Yeah. Me: I'm getting a new Mom.
@stats_canada: It is officially too cold for Canadians to pretend liking cold weather is part of our cultural identity