@TheCatWhisprer: I hate when I think there's an open parking space and then I have to run over a motorcycle.
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@KelleysBreakRm: When I open the washing machine lid mid-cycle, I feel like I've entered a party where everybody suddenly stops dancing and stares at me.
@therealeatwood: SANTA: I don’t need a surveillance guy. I see all! ELF ON SHELF: Seen these? [shows pics of Mommy kissing Santa Claus] S: When can u start
@SequelsWeWant: The Hobbit 4: Bilbo's relatives auction off his stuff Bilbo puts on his ring One by one, his relatives die under mysterious circumstances
@LaziestCanine: A fish's Google search history: - do fish have short term memory? - do fish have short term memory? - do fish have short term memory?