@TheCatWhisprer: I hate when I think there's an open parking space and then I have to run over a motorcycle.
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@abhorrent_wife: Please, baseball fans. Enthrall me with complex details about a game where someone hits the ball with a stick and runs around in a circle.
@shanethevein: I'm starting to think some of you are actually on Facebook. You know we just joke about being Facebook right?
@wineoclock39: Sometimes I shock myself with smart things I say. Other times, I struggle to get out of my car with the seatbelt on.