@shatterpants: I hate when I wake up at night, look at the clock and go right back to sleep. Essentially my body is just waking me up to do math.
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@NicestHippo: [high school sex ed class] *scoffs* When are we ever going to use this in real life
@Cheeseboy22: Some jerk called me "pretentious" so I called him a "planktupus." I can make up nonsense words too.
@BigRadMachine: Y'all are gonna lose your minds when Donald Trump eats a Snickers and turns into Bernie Sanders.
@KalvinMacleod: [dating game] GIRL: contestant #1 tell me how u would woo me ME: woo like in duck tales woo woo or a different type of woo? G: contestant #2