@shatterpants: I hate when I wake up at night, look at the clock and go right back to sleep. Essentially my body is just waking me up to do math.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanMentos: who called it carrying your cell phone in your front pocket instead of hot signals in your area
@Social_Mime: This guy poured his box of raisinets directly into his bag of popcorn at the movie counter. After my initial shock I bowed to him.
@ItsAndyRyan: The English language lacks a word to mean "To make a spouse feel uncomfortable by aggressively cleaning the house around them".