@Wakenbake77: I hate when I'm beating my grandma in Mario Kart and she kicks the controller out my hands.
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@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding
@ComedicBust: My girlfriend's furious that I bought her The Golden Girls box set for her birthday, but I knew she'd get over it since she's not real.
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist
@Laser_Cat: Boy, Peter Parker is lucky he was bitten by a spider and not one of those fainting goats.