@Wakenbake77: I hate when I'm beating my grandma in Mario Kart and she kicks the controller out my hands.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: How was work? [flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast"] me:Good
@House_Feminist: A lonely rooster sees neon sign flashing HOT CHICKEN STRIPS, walks into Popeyes and cringes in horror as he drops his dollar bills
@Reverend_Scott: [praying mantis home] "Happy Mother's Day, mom" Aww, thank u, son "Mom, why did Dad leave?" [turns head away 180°] I was hungry