@Wakenbake77: I hate when I'm beating my grandma in Mario Kart and she kicks the controller out my hands.
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@3sunzzz: [fire] EVERYONE REMAIN CALM. Use the stairs. DO NOT use the elevators. We're on the 12th floor... *sigh* I guess I'm dying in a fire.
@shadygrenade: *Pizza Hut job interview* "Do you own a shitty car and smoke pot?" No sir. "You will."
@MarlonBrandNO: [Date] Me: tell me about yourself Her: I'm really vegan Me: oh no Her: and I have a kid Me: oh no Her: his name is Kale Me: ohhh noo