@FloodyHippie: I hate when I'm checking out a bag of chips, and the guy standing in front of it, thinks my lustful gaze is meant for him.
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@SCbchbum: Did you know if you send a fancy iPhone emoticon to a non-iPhone user, it just shows up as a middle finger?
@markydoodoo: [Yelp review for Mario Bros Plumbing] Ate my mushrooms, killed ALL my turtles, stole my coin collection. 1 star. -Bowser K.
@Michael1979: Very important new poster I stuck up in town today. This is my first step towards becoming a great businessman