@MartaEffing: I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again.
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@Cheeseboy22: Horse buying tip: ALWAYS ask how much horsepower a horse has. If a horse has less than one horsepower, you've got yourself a crap horse.
@LeBearGirdle: Wife: can you pick up milk? Me: [lifts gallon] yea it's easy Wife: I mean from the store Me: I would imagine it weighs the same there too