@MartaEffing: I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UncleDuke1969: A rusted van sits under a bridge. Rats gnaw on moldy Scooby Snacks. Shaggy takes a hit off the pipe. "WHY COULDN'T YOU LOVE ME VELMA?"
@TheDailySchmuck: Every time I'm the only black person at a party I think: "Wow. I helped them make quota."
@SortaBad: Rob Zombie is a good musician but also a great way to make money when the undead rise from their graves