@Amburglar_: I hate when I'm getting a back rub & he stops 3 mins in & says "my thumbs hurt." It's not like I ever say "My jaw hurts." I finish the job.
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@MouthOfSass: Just found some clothes my ex left here. Perfect timing since I'm out of toilet paper.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Wearing shirts of bands you don't listen to is like refusing to eat the cupcake, but cool walking around with frosting all over your face.