@Amburglar_: I hate when I'm getting a back rub & he stops 3 mins in & says "my thumbs hurt." It's not like I ever say "My jaw hurts." I finish the job.
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@envydatropic: If you stand by and watch someone wreck their life, you're part of the problem And yet we all still go to weddings for the open bar
@_ElvishPresley_: [1st day as a Transformer] GAS STATION ATTENDEE: And your total comes to $43,789.95 ME: (becomes a Decepticon)
@heatherjs: Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.