@2tonbug: I hate when I'm in a restaurant bathroom, and I run out of toilet paper. Like my dinner guests are gonna be scared of HALF a mummy costume
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@ddsmidt: Estimated assembly time said 20 minutes, it took much longer than that. Clearly the instruction writer is overly confident in his skills.
@PFTompkins: Well, time to go to bed & remember that I started and abandoned a huge organizing project that involved putting a bunch of stuff on the bed.
@joe_binkley: Me: This is a picture of my aunt Marge... Rest in peace. Friend: I'm so sorry for your loss. Me: Oh, she's not dead, she's just really lazy.
@wendchymes: * kids arguing loudly about which one of them is my favorite * - dog & I exchange knowing glances and wink as I slip him another treat