@Nikkeya08: I hate when I'm pooping alone in the house and I hear a noise.. please don't kill me while i'm pooping..
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@JhonRules: *dumps Gatorade on an alligator* How does your family taste you green piece of shit
@sarcasticmommy4: My teen was complaining he had no clean clothes so I asked him what he thought he should do: "Uh, go buy new clothes?" Have kids. It's fun.
@man_spach: Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?