@Nikkeya08: I hate when I'm pooping alone in the house and I hear a noise.. please don't kill me while i'm pooping..
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@weinerdog4life: One of my stuffed animals just told me I should get back on my meds, I guess someone doesn't want to be part of tea party club anymore.
@protolalia: "Sorry, that was my bad." "Your bad what?" "No. I'm just sayin': Sorry. My bad." "You're bad at completing an apologetic sentence?" "Yeah"
@EyeSeeYou619: [First Date] HIM: So, you like Star Wars. ME: *sipping soup thru a bendy straw so I don't have to take off my C-3PO mask* *shakes head yes*
@illiter8too: Hey boy, are you a fitted sheet? Because you're complicated as hell and hard to manage, but I definitely want you on this mattress.