@Muath_tu: I hate when I'm running away from monsters at the temple then crash into a tree and die because I wanted to collect all the gold.
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@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, why is the moon following us around? Me: I probably owe it money like everyone else on the planet
@ElKnuckelhombre: A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse.
@Matt_The_1st: Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
@patnspankme: Best part of being married is blaming your partner for shrinking something in the dryer because you're getting fat & it doesn't fit anymore.