@KentWGraham: I hate when I’m running on the treadmill for half an hour and look down to see it’s been 4 minutes.
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@JayCee302: The asian girl I'm playing chess against is really hot, you might say she's worth a... *puts on sunglasses* "Second rook"
@WilliamAder: Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.
@TheSeanBrewster: Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like "this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."
@ShaunNaNaD: I'm pretty sure I have all of those countless hours spent playing Tetris to thank for my mad dishwasher loading skills.