@KentWGraham: I hate when I’m running on the treadmill for half an hour and look down to see it’s been 4 minutes.
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@BuckyIsotope: Closing time, son "Huh?" You don't have to go home but you can't stay here "But I live here Dad" *Dad stares at me* Don't forget your Xbox
@TheWeirdWorld: One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, “Samsung has had this feature for years”.
@PlopWaffle: Lois : Clark, are those binoculars? Clark Kent : Yes, I can't find my glasses. Lois : Put them down for a second. Clark : Lois : Clark : No