@KentWGraham: I hate when I’m running on the treadmill for half an hour and look down to see it’s been 4 minutes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SaulKewl: honey the ppl of atlantis lost an entire city & thats like 2000x bigger than a baby so idk if all this yellin is necessary
@iwearaonesie: *wife walks over to me* *cups my face with her hands* *looks me in the eye* "Why is there a mousetrap in the fridge?"
@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that size shouldn't matter so she went out shopping and bought my "boys room" a new 4 inch TV.
@Ygrene: The best natural phenomenon is when a species lovingly accepts an orphan of another species, like how my fries have accepted this onion ring