@sarah1mc: I hate when I'm telling my best friend a story and she gets all judgmental and walks off to get a drink from her water bowl.
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@iAmJuddy: Wait. I'm not cool cuz I'm home on a weekend night? You mean my home I own? With no landlord, neighbors or...parents? Wow, I'm such a loser.
@novicefather: I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight.
@OnceUponALiz: If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again.
@Contwixt: Girl, are you a conspiracy theory? Because I want to listen to you all day long even though I find it hard to believe a word you say.