@sarah1mc: I hate when I'm telling my best friend a story and she gets all judgmental and walks off to get a drink from her water bowl.
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@whatmaddness: Traffic fantasy: - Someone does something stupid - I give them "the look" - They learn their lesson - The roads are safer because of me
@FunkyFresh_79: Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games
@BarebakAssassin: In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) "No" means no 2.) "Maybe" means no 3.) "Yes" means maybe