@RoosterMustache: I hate when my phone corrects "hood morning" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today.
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@CptBombs75: Just got out of the shower and lotioned up Unfortunately I'm not a chick so this won't get 624 faves
@toujours_fab: My husband said he needs to have sex and now he is mad at me. Apparently, asking 'with each other' was the wrong response.
@leechee420: Shirts that say SWAG and YOLO for sale at Walmart. Because dressing like an idiot should be affordable.
@SonOfCha: When I see a dog tied up outside a store I immediately assume it's been there for years & set it free.