@TheMichaelRock: I hate when my wife says "GO WAIT IN THE CAR" because I'm not sure if she's talking to me or the kids.
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@girl_a_whirl: Giving birth? Passing a gallstone? Monica Seles tennis match? Possible scenarios from sounds emitted from chic on elliptical next to me
@matt_simpson84: That scene from Jurassic Park where the T-Rex is breathing heavily up against the jeep glass, except its me at the hotdog display in 7/11
@FeelingEuphoric: [SEXTING] ME: tell me what you like HER: I really get off on exhibitionism ME: OK, cool, weird that museums turn you on but cool
@sip_at_home_mom: 2016 took so many beautiful, talented men I've loved my entire life. Seems unfair that I still have to dodge my ex at the grocery store.