@TheMichaelRock: I hate when my wife says "GO WAIT IN THE CAR" because I'm not sure if she's talking to me or the kids.
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@murrman5: [god in a bad mood but insisting he's fine] I wanna make some changes to what we made yesterday "but the spider is done" Im adding 6 legs
@tastefactory: Most kids have a stuffed animal or blankie. My niece has one of those plastic owls u put outside to scare away birds
@jergarl: My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch.
@TheSeanBrewster: Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like "this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."