@TheMichaelRock: I hate when my wife says "GO WAIT IN THE CAR" because I'm not sure if she's talking to me or the kids.
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@tigersgoroooar: Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them.
@ozzyunc: "As a creative person I'm often asked where I get my ideas." Yeah. As a creative person you often imagine people doing that but they don't.
@Hurly_Burly: Psychologist: Let's play a word association game. I'll say a word, you say what springs to mind Rainbows Me: I hope my ex dies in a fire.