@msmollybee25: I hate when Netflix asks if I'm still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shadonium: Him: your account was stolen! Me: My twitter account? Him: no your bank account! *sigh* Me: thanks God!
@JCautomatic: [Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist
@BonaFideIntent: Me: LARGE FRY! McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW Me: I WILL CUT YOU! *sirens*