@Sarcasticsapien: I hate when people say "Look at me when I'm talking to you." I mean, c'mon, one inconvenience at a time.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: How much for the selfie stick? Him: Sir, that's an Olsen twin. Me: I'll take it.
@praisecheese: "Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone's been dead for 5,000 years, so there's no rush"
@hotdogsladies: Conjecture: At some point in 2013, our neighbors will get so high that they accidentally sell their own weed. For weed money. To buy weed.