@OhNoSheTwitnt: I hate when people say "you always want what you don't have" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of "want."
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: At this point the only thing Lady Gaga could do that would shock me is to come out on stage wearing a sensible pantsuit from Talbots.
@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.
@NathanBgood: They take Opposite Day seriously here at El Sol. I love sushi/getting paid to eat, but the dead mariachi band is something of a mood-killer.
@AndyAsAdjective: [kidnapped & trapped in trunk] *hot wires rear blinker lights to communicate with other cars via Morse code* "I…am…a…vegan"