@itrevormoore: I hate when ppl at the grocery store get mad at you for "stealing" their cart of food. YOU DON'T OWN THIS STUFF YET!!!!!!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BumbleDC: *accidentally summons malevolent demon at a séance* I WILL HAUNT YOUR HOME FOREVER! [4 days later] YOU KNOW, YOU COULD CLEAN UP OCCASIONALLY
@dreamthievin: People who bend down to pick up a thread instead of running over it with the vacuum 37 times, what's it like to exercise?
@UncleDuke1969: Standing in the snow on a sub-zero morning, holding a steaming bag of poop, I begin to question my ‘dogs are better than people’ philosophy.