@itrevormoore: I hate when ppl at the grocery store get mad at you for "stealing" their cart of food. YOU DON'T OWN THIS STUFF YET!!!!!!
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@JohnLyonTweets: No horror movie will ever be as scary as the sight of the water going up instead of down when I flush the toilet.
@zaktoscani: Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they’ve agreed to let him watch the security camera tape. This is the most excited I’ve ever been at any job ever. Ever.
@bourgeoisalien: don't usually brag about helping people, but when I saw an old lady drop her groceries, I yelled: "lift with a straight back!" it felt good