@titusbb: I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don't even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.
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@BubblesnBooze: Him: How would you describe yourself? Me: Face of an angel, body of a marshmallow and the mouth of a sailor.
@SatansTongue: Horton hears a who Horton hears a what Horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady Horton is listening to Eminem
@chuuew: WIFE: Did everyone at work enjoy the cookies I baked? ME: [pretending I didn't eat them all on the drive in] WHATS WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS?!
@BuckyIsotope: RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust