@osoplain: I hate when someone sneaks up in front of you when you're scrolling on your phone
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@TheHyyyype: Apparently when your wife says "let's make a baby," she doesn't mean assemble an infant from clay and chant The Old Words inside a pentagram
@daemonic3: [solar eclipse] SUN: OMG everyone's taking my picture today, they must love me! Do I look ok? Hope nobody photobombs me MOON: Hold my beer
@LurkAtHomeMom: 7: [from bed] MOM! Me: YES? 7: *mumbling Me: WHAT? 7: *mumbling Me: HUH? 7: *mumbling Me: *pauses movie* 7: WHAT DOES LIGHTNING TASTE LIKE?