@osoplain: I hate when someone sneaks up in front of you when you're scrolling on your phone
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@LoneWolfStories: Damn you autocorrect for making me look like an idiom. Always trying to make a tool out of me.
@SoldHerSoul: Offering the floral arrangement as a meal to the gluten free, lactose intolerant, allergy ridden vegetarian is apparently not ok.
@cbdoubleu: Hulk Hogan: I struggled to overcome manic-depression. Me [as his therapist]: So you could say you had to wrestle mania? *gets leg dropped*