@Sarcasticsapien: I hate when someone texts me cause then I can't post anything on the internet or they'll know I'm ignoring them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShockTartBionic: Your baby's got pink eye, bronchitis AND a double ear infection? Are you even trying to keep him alive?
@TheDailySchmuck: I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues.
@ashleycrem: HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they're transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise.