@Quartzjixler: I hate when that happens.
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@generaldietz: lifeguard: can you describe the thing that touched you? me: yea...it was like a wet wind chime made out of wieners lifeguard: a squid?
@MelvinofYork: Whenever I conduct a job interview I ask the applicant to name their favorite Muppet, and no matter the answer I scowl and shake my head.
@iLikeCatShirts: You'd be surprised at all the discounts you get when you come in swinging a sword!
@BaileysIrishTom: What's the best way to remove a grass stain? Alcohol? I don't see how getting drunk will help, but whatever.