@JasonLastname: I hate when you forget to wear a belt and have to shoot heroin using the blood pressure machine at walgreens.
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@ClaytonSykes: Having a beard makes it easier to hatch a scheme, but it's getting harder and harder to play on a public swing set by myself.
@BindzBrain: The last 3 minutes of any podcast could all be confessions to murder and we'd never know
@KalvinMacleod: [first date] HER: I love to learn ME: (trying to impress her) I spent two extra years in high school
@NoogsCorner: Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."