@Marcmywords2: I hate when you go to a surprise party, and all anyone wants to do is talk about your drug problem.
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@loribuckmajor: Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes.
@jwomackou: Wife: how'd you get that burn on your arm?? Me (looking fabulous): not from your curling iron
@Xoolun: Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I'm now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.