@boogersincoffee: i hate when you google stuff like 'insidious' it gives you the definition but when you google 'butt' it doesn't. define butt for me damn it
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@alldrolledup: when your neighbor cuts his grass and suddenly your place looks like a good place to score meth
@loudmouth_usa: Me: Ma'am your pet is loud. Lady: That's my baby. Me: Ma'am your pet baby is loud
@iGreenMonk: It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
@causticbob: Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma