@boogersincoffee: i hate when you google stuff like 'insidious' it gives you the definition but when you google 'butt' it doesn't. define butt for me damn it
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@JB4Realz: [Reality TV] HOST: Welcome to America's Next Top Psychic! Please, try not to-- *One contestant stands up*: I WON! H: --ruin it.
@TweetingDadGuy: When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter.
@SkinnerSteven: That old expression: "hold the phone!" doesn't work anymore because everyone is already doing that
@onelongbender: I don't think I get enough credit in my family for making my siblings look successful.