@boogersincoffee: i hate when you google stuff like 'insidious' it gives you the definition but when you google 'butt' it doesn't. define butt for me damn it
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@pattioshankable: I've discovered the best way to punish 17, is to put on the same outfit as her, then follow her around all day yelling out "TWINSIES!"
@T_Bonezzz_: My sister let me borrow her newborn baby so I could meet girls at the mall. Worked great! Also, If you've found my nephew Jake, lemme know
@Vodkantots: Whoever said, "there's no place like home for the holidays" clearly hasn't been to my house.