@roxiqt: I hated muffins until I was 17 & saw someone remove the wrapper on the bottom of a muffin before eating one. Prior to this, I thought it was just part of the muffin eating experience & would angrily eat muffin wrappers because... I just thought that I had to.
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@dafloydsta: [first day as a ghost] BOSS: ur job is to scare people ME: ok [later] ME: *whispering to millennials* you'll never pay off ur student loans
@internetluke: [vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* "Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere
@sixfootcandy: Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.