@AnniemuMary: I have 11 pictures of myself from high school. My daughter has 11 pictures of herself from this morning.
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@craiguito: My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn't realise he planned to be that person
@DaddyBeerGuy: My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!
@TheBeerGuy73: Pro tip: Wives do not find it hilarious when you add a bunch of extra candles to their surprise birthday cake. I know this now.
@stephenjmolloy: Mugger: "Hand over your card and give me your PIN number!" Me: "My personal identification number number?" *he stabs me*