@KevinFarzad: "I have $50, less than an hour, and a ton of cocaine. Let's make a commercial!" - every furniture store owner
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@Mr_Kapowski: *watching a scary movie* 7 y/o daughter: They're just people in masks, right Dad? *blankets pulled over my head* "Sure, if you say so"
@notacroc: [spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is taco ME: four please JUDGE: we're not- ME: with chips JUDGE: ordering ME: *lips on mic* extra guac
@jenlaw_11: Mom I'm running away! No I don't need a jacket! Mom no I'm fine I don't need a jac- mom! No I don't need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!